Who We Are
by KellethMetheus
Summary: Carter Anderson shows up on Jack's doorstep claiming to be Sam's younger sister, one that she doesn't know about. Wost of all she wants Jack to introduce them, and him and Sam haven't spoken since their relationship went sour, but all is not what it seems
1. On a pond in Minnesota

**Author's Note: **Here is my next offering to all of you. If you voted for my poll you will have recognized the summery of this one. Once this one is all posted the Post Grace one is next. It's not done yet but its far enough along that I feel like I can share it with you. I really have no idea where it came from. I have never blamed my Muse for anything but this on is all hers.

I will be posting as I get it back from my Beta AriaJack, she has helped me smooth off some of the rough edges. I would also like to thank SerenBunny for her help as well pointing out the huge plot holes I had in this fic. Also I would like to thank KEF for voting for this one and giving me the encouragement to get this one ready to post. This one is for you.

**Me again:** I have had this re-edited and have reposted it so no more typos. Yeah!!

Anyway on with the show.....

* * *

Carter Anderson stood at the door to a cabin near a pond in Minnesota. The owner of the cabin, General Jack O'Neill had served with Samantha Carter for eight years and from the reports she had gotten a hold of, he was there when her father died. Through Jack O'Neill, she might be able to know him, and Samantha and then she would know who she was, and where she belonged.

Lifting her hand, she knocked on the door, and waited. From inside, there were sounds of stumbling, and mutterings about,'leaving a man alone with his fish.' The door was wrenched open and a man with greying hair stood in the doorway. He didn't look too pleased to see her on his doorstep.

He glared at the young woman, "What do you want? Actually, I don't want to know." He was about to slam the door when something about her caught his attention, "Do I know you?"

The girl smiled and Jack felt a punch in the gut. Only one person he knew smiled like that, and she wasn't talking to him at the moment. "Who the hell are you?"

"Lieutenant Carter Anderson USAF, Sir." The young woman stood at attention and saluted the Two Star General, who only frowned.

"At ease. Neither of us are in uniform. Do I know you?" His brow furrowed, Sam never told him about any siblings other than Mark. So who was this girl?"

"You served with my father and my sister. My father never knew about me, I wasn't exactly legitimate." The last part was offered with a shrug, but he saw sadness in her eyes at the loss.

Gesturing with his hand he asked, "I'm assuming you mean, Jacob Carter?" He seemed to deflate and closed his eyes. This was going to hurt Sam, he wanted no part of this, but how could he turn away Sam's sister from his door?

"Yes, Sir." The girl seemed to know she was on rough ground and toned down her smile.

Running his hand through his hair, he asked, "And you're here, why?" He wasn't sure why he asked, he already knew the answer.

"I need to know all I can about them, my father and my sister. They were never part of my life. I don't think they even knew about me. I understand he's dead now. Will you tell to me about them?" She looked so lost that Jack could not refuse her.

"Yes he is. I was there with your sister at the end. He was sick and there was nothing we could do for him. Everyone did the best they could." His voice got quiet as he remembered that day. Not long after Jake died, he had thought that he and Sam had a chance to be happy and maybe they would have been. They had just gotten their feet wet when the Ori showed up, and Sam ended it not long after that.

Jack studied Carter trying to decide what to do. The pain looked real but who knew with some of these people, she could be with the Trust or some more of those rogue NID freaks. With a sigh he said, "I have to make some calls and check you out. I know some people. You said Air Force right, Lieutenant?"

"I just finished the Academy a month ago. Currently I'm finishing my second masters in mechanical engineering. I already have one in computer science. I thought they would help me when I joined Stargate Command."

His eyes narrowed, "How do you know about that?"

She shrugged, "I was offered a spot about a month ago, but I knew about it before then. There have been rumors about it for years. In the information that I was given I saw Sam's name. I decided to find out some more, but the files were classified. So I went looking. I was able to get a few mission reports that were lightly classified. That was where I found Jacob's name but that doesn't tell me about who they were. I want to know who he was, I know some things about him, but who was he just before he died?" Her voice held a plea that Jack couldn't deny.

Sighing again, he ran his fingers through his hair, causing total disarray. "No matter how much I want to, I can't just trust you. Wait out here, and I'll get back to you, one way or the other."

Understanding his caution, she agreed. "Okay, I'll just be down by the dock, call me when you're ready. If you think you can't trust me, I'll leave, but the SGC does, so you have no reason not to." Not waiting for him to close the door, she headed down to the edge of the pond.

Staring out at the water, Carter felt somewhat at home. Jon, her boyfriend, had spent some years in this part of the country and he loved it. She had never been to the Midwest, or whatever you called this part of the country, but it was beautiful. There had been a time when she'd had a chance to come out here, but circumstances changed and she never made it. That also had been before...

Carter pulled her mind from those memories. They weren't hers, not really. To her, they belonged to someone else, someone whole, who knew where they stood in the world, but that wasn't Carter Anderson. Back then, she had been someone else, or had she? It was all so confusing. Although those memories didn't seem like they were hers, they were all there, sharp and clear.

Wrapping her arms around herself as though she were cold, Carter thought, that was the whole purpose of this little trip, to find out just who Carter Anderson was. She stayed there staring out at the water pondering that question for a long time.

Putting down the phone for the last time, Jack watched the young woman standing on the dock, confused. She was so much like Sam it hurt, but she seemed so lost. That was one thing Sam Carter never was. She was always confident and knew just what she was doing, never wavering. He called her name but the girl didn't respond. Finally he yelled at her in his best CO voice. "Hey, Anderson!"

Jack's voice broke through her reverie. She snapped to attention as she turned to face him. "Yes, Sir!"

Motioning with his arms he said, "Come on in then, I guess we can talk. You seem to check out. Landry's pretty impressed by you. He says that you're allowed full disclosure."

With a wave of his arm, he allowed her to precede him into the house. The two of them sat down in the small living room. He was unable to take his eyes off this woman who was Sam, but not. Carter's hair was darker, but the eyes were the same blue.

He found himself watching her; there was something strange about this girl. He looked her up and down; she was what, eighteen, nineteen, and yet those eyes seemed so much older. They had seen pain and death, more than any child should. What had happened to this girl, she pulled at his compassion. He wanted to make her pain go away, but he had no idea how.

He waited for her to speak, but she sat there and said nothing. She was the one who had come here and he wasn't about to volunteer any information. She seemed to study him just as much as he did her. When she didn't speak, he asked her a question about herself. "Where did you grow up?"

She shrugged, "Here and there. I never really had much of a home. I'm not here to talk about me. Tell me about them, Sir."

He closed his eyes against the pain. She sounded so much like Sam and it was killing him. Jack had been an idiot and maybe Sam had too. In the end, they had hurt each other, but he still loved her more than anyone else on this and every other planet. It hurt to talk about her.

Speaking through the pain, he told Carter what she wanted to know. He talked about Sam's compassion and kindness. The ability she had to go the extra mile and then keep pushing until the job was done, like the time the Kull warrior chased her through the forest at the Alpha site. Jacob on the other hand was different. He was a great man who sacrificed himself hoping that he would create a better world for his children's children, and he had. Jack didn't go into specifics of events and who and what was there but he hoped that Carter got a good picture of both Sam and Jacob.

When he was done, both of them were silent as they digested his words. Looking over at her, he saw something and narrowed his gaze. "You want something else, what is it?

Swallowing Carter said, "I want you to introduce us. I've seen her at the Academy but I have never met her face to face."

Standing up, he strode across the room, running his hand through his hair, "No, no and no. You want to meet Car- Sam, you knock on her door and say hello. You don't need me there to hold your hand. I won't do it. Off you go, don't write or call." He held open the door for her to leave.

Stepping through it, she said, "It's not my hand I want you to hold, it's Sam's. This'll hurt her and she will need you there, Sir."

Jack had begun to close the door and paused. Thinking about her words, he saw the truth in them. Dropping his hand, he accepted that she was right, just like Sam. "All right. Come back inside and I'll call the base and get us some transportation to Colorado Springs." Turning away, he made his calls, the sooner he got rid of her the better. Something about her bothered him and he couldn't decide what.

The smile was back as she said, "Thank you, Sir."

Shrugging, he picked up the phone. "I aim to please and call me Jack. We're not in uniform." If he were honest with himself, it was the fact that her Sir sounded too much like Sam's Sir and it was creeping him out a bit.

* * *

It was about four in the afternoon when they arrived at Jack's house just outside Colorado Springs. Jack quietly moved through the house, opening windows. Picking up the phone, he asked, "Pizza or Chinese?"

Carter smiled that smile again, "Pizza, with pepperoni and bacon please." Jack dialled the number and ordered the half-and-half. The owner Louie laughed, "General you haven't ordered that in forever, are you back with your girlfriend again."

Staring at the phone after the other man hung up, Jack wondered what was going on. He looked over at Carter and watched her for a few moments. It was frightening how similar she was to Sam. Their mannerism and even the way they stood was the same. This woman was like her twin, other than their difference in age and hair color.

Needing a little space, Jack went into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. Did he want Sam back in his life so bad that he was seeing her in the woman claiming to be her sister? Laying back with a sigh, he remembered how it had all ended so abruptly.

_Jack lounged on the couch watching the Simpsons with his arm around Sam Carter. He was glad to be somewhere where no one called him Sir. They were content, at least he thought so, until Sam made a strangled noise._

_Standing, Sam turned to him, "I can't do this anymore. I...." __s__he trailed off, heading to the door. Her mind was in turmoil. She was speaking__,__ but not really to him, or maybe she was, She was so confused._

_For a second he just sat there stunned by what she said, watching her take a few steps then__,__ suddenly__,__ he lunged forward and grabbed her arm. "What?"_

_Stopping she turned. "Jack I can't watch you die, not again. They all die. I won't do it to you too. I've done it too many times and I won't do it now."_

_He was confused, what was she talking about? He wasn't dying and he had no plans to do it any time soon. " Sam, what's wrong? I'm not in danger, not anymore. My biggest threat is a paper cut." He cupped her cheek. "Sam, you're in more danger than I am, I know that you will never fail to come home to me._

_Jack could see the instant the words left his mouth he had said something wrong. She reeled back from his touch. The look on her face was as stunned as if she had just been slapped. Hard._ "_You wouldn't understand. You can't, they never counted on you like they did me. I have to get away, I have to think." She stammered, needing to get out of there, away from his compassion, she didn't deserve it. She had failed._

_Stepping forward__,__ he tried to touch her again but she blocked him. "Sam, don't leave. Stay, I want to understand." His eyes said more than his mouth._

_Sam closed her eyes against the pain, she loved him too, she really did, but that was the problem. Those she loved died, and so, to save him, she had to leave. She had to leave before he found out the truth and ended up dead._

_She looked him in the eye, "I know, that's why I'm leaving. I..." But she could not finish her words, it would be too cruel to say them now. Turning away__,__ she almost ran to the door, opening it, she went through and did not look back._

_'Sam!'__,__ Jack's mind screamed but the word never crossed his lips and she closed the door. She never knew if he said anything else as she walked out of that part of his life forever. _

_Jack stared at the closed door amazed at what just happened. She left, she left, kept running over and over in his mind. He had always known the day would come, just not so soon, or so out of the blue. He expected a fight or something to be the cause, not silence._

_He thought they were okay, in fact he had been ready to propose. They had had a few disagreements but they had settled them or come to a compromise._

_Part of him wanted to run after her and beg her to come back__,__ but the more rational part of him knew she had seen the truth. He was an old man, who wasn't worth her time or effort._

_No, he wouldn't beg, she had made her choice and he would honor it. Turning from the door, he thought, a man does have his pride after all, as he climbed into his forever empty bed._

He didn't know how long he sat there on that same bed but eventually Carter came to the door and knocked. "The pizzas here. Are you still hungry?"

Nodding his head, he followed her from the room. Heading to the kitchen, he gathered the things they needed to eat. Neither of them said anything as they ate. Both seemed to be preparing for the moment that was coming.

On the way out the door, he called Sam's house to give her a heads up. The problem was that she hung up when she heard his voice and he didn't get to.

Sighing, he motioned to the Lieutenant. "No time like the present."

* * *

Sam stared at the phone like it was a snake. Jack O'Neill. What did he want? They hadn't spoke in a long time, not about them or anything else important. Not since the day she closed that door.

_Sam walked away but every rational part of her wanted to turn around and run back into Jack's arms where she belonged. She knew he wasn't going to die, he was right, she was in more danger than he was, but she wasn't being rational. Fear and terror guided her actions and that was a bad place to be._

_Watching Orlin slowly slip away, then today, when she saw him, he didn't even know her. It hurt so much to know that it was because of her. She wouldn't lose someone else like that, she couldn't. The worst thing had been that_ _she couldn't save him. No miracle solution came to mind in time to save him. She had failed and if it happened once__,__ it could happen again, it was only a matter of time._

_Her life and confidence were in turmoil. Even the anti Prior device hadn't been hers, Orlin had given them the final piece that made it work. All she wanted to do was run away and hide from everything and everyone._

_Every time __there__ was a disaster__,__ all eyes turned to her looking for the magic answer. Eventually she would fail, and she didn't want to see the disappointment on Jack's face when that happened. It was better this way, to end it now before he learned she wasn't __perfect__._

_Pulling away from Jack's house, the only place where she felt safe, she drove up to the mountain and buried herself in her work, hoping that she would be ready when they needed the next miracle._

That had been the end of Sam and Jack. It was over before it had started. It was so stupid, but she never had the courage to try again. Daniel insisted that all she had to do was tell him that she loved him and wanted to try again. It couldn't be that simple. Things in her life never were.

She had stabbed him through the heart and left him to bleed. And she had no idea how to heal the wound between them. There was a part of her that wanted him in her life and by her side, but the larger, more terrified part of her, kept him at a distance. He cradled her heart in his hands and he had the ability to crush it like a tin can and walk away. She thought she could handle giving him that power but she had been wrong.

All those feelings were boiling in her mind and heart, so she just stayed away, hoping that someday she could stop loving Jack O'Neill.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they pulled up in front of Sam's house. Slowly, he walked up to the door and rang the bell. Jack motioned for Carter to stay out of sight.

Sam opened the door to answer the knock; her first instinct was to slam the door in his face. She didn't want to get into this, not now, not today, maybe never.

Lifting his hand, he stopped her, "I have someone you're gonna wanna see. Samantha, meet Carter, your sister."

Looking past Jack, she saw Carter looking nervous and Sam smiled, "I wondered when we would meet."

Shocked, Jack rubbed his hand through his hair, "You knew about her?"

"Yes, I've known about her for a while." She shrugged, and allowed them to enter. She didn't have to explain herself to anyone, especially him. To Carter, she said, "I heard about the SGC. Congratulations."

Jack ignored Sam's comment and continued to rant, "You never tried to find her? Talk to her?" He could not keep the amazement out of his voice, or the confusion.

"I didn't need to, I knew where she was. I wanted her to have her own life without my influence. I wanted her to be Carter, not Sam Carter."

Hearing her words, something clicked in his brain. He looked from Sam to Carter to a picture of Sam and her dad on the mantel. She was about the same age as Carter. Looking at the two woman and the picture, he saw it, and understood everything.

Jack grabbed her arm, pulling her into the kitchen. "What the hell did you do? Who is that girl?" His voice was angry and hurt, but he had no idea why.

* * *

Well there it is. See you next time. Let me know if you liked it or hated it and you just might make me smile.


	2. Who am I?

Author's Note: Here it is as promised. I'm not really sure where the idea for this fic came from, but I wrote it and I hope you enjoy it. Again that to KEF for picking this fic and encouraging me to get ti ready to read. Also thank you to my two Betas, AriaJack and SerenBunny for all your help make my little fic better.

Let me know if you liked it hated it, I'm addicted to reviews.

* * *

Sam looked directly at Jack. "Well, she's my clone." she looked shocked. "You mean she doesn't know? I thought , because she came to you, she knew." Sam peeked back into the living room, where Carter stood at the mantel looking at the assembled photographs.

Dropping her arm, he turned away, messing his hair up some more. "No she doesn't, but it explains a lot. She's so much like you it was creeping me out. She sounds the same, likes her pizza the way you do. How did this happen?"

"When Loki made your clone, Jon, as he calls himself, he asked for one of me too, only Thor asked my permission first. I helped modify her so we don't look quite the same. Thor and I thought it was best if there wasn't a complete replica of me running around. She has all my knowledge, but no idea that she's me. To her, she's always been Carter Anderson."

"Carter? You couldn't think of anything better?" He couldn't help but be annoyed at the choice of name, his special name for her.

She shrugged, "I didn't have a lot of time, and it was Jon's choice, not mine."

Jack sighed, he was tired, so tired, and this day wasn't even close to being over yet., "Let me get this straight. You created a mini-you and didn't tell her she was – well, you?"

Nodding, she said, "The knowledge is in there and one day she will know who she is. I just wanted her to find her own way before that happened."

"Of all the egotistical things. What were you thinking?" Jack was angry now. Had they even thought about this person they were creating. She would have feelings and stuff, hadn't they thought about Carter at all?

Sam could see the anger on his face, and knew just what he was thinking, she always did. "I was thinking about you, and how I wouldn't want to live without you. According to Thor- Jon didn't want to live without me. If he had to live your life over again, he wanted me with him, and I agreed!"

They were both shouting now and they were so close to one another she could feel his breath on her cheeks. She closed her eyes; it was still there between them pulling them together and then ripping them apart.

When they had been together, expectations had been too high and they had forgotten that the other was human. They had loved one another for so long, and had been forced to hide it beneath duty and honor; they were unsure how to act now that they could love openly, in the light of day.

Opening her mouth to speak, Sam had no idea what to say to him. She knew Jack so well, but she was unsure how to live with him. Seeing him again, she knew that life without him was too painful to live anymore. She wanted to try again, before it was too late.

Reaching out, she touched his face, "Jack, I don't like living like this I want to try...."

Just then, Carter's voice spoke from the doorway. "I'm a clone of you, not your sister? How could you do this to me? My whole life is a lie. All my choices were your choices! Even Jon- he's you!" She pointed to Jack. She was so angry. Carter's eyes took them in. "And I only love Jon because you love him! Nothing about me is me!" She pushed past them and ran from the house. Jack and Sam arrived at the back door in time to see Sam's car driving away.

Sighing, Sam entered the living room and dialed a number from memory, "Jon, it's me. Carter was here. We upset her." pause. "No. Yes, we're at my house." pause. "Me, and the General." pause. "No, Jack." pause. "Yes, he's a general." Pause. "I know, you've told me that before, but he'll just have to live with it. We'll wait for you."

"Who was that?" He asked, although he knew exactly who it was.

"Jon O'Neill. Carter's boyfriend. Your clone." Sam offered. Trying hard not roll her eyes at the dumb Colonel routine, it was so very old.

It was his turn to sigh; it's harder to pull off stupid when you're a two star general. "Jon? Why isn't he Jack. I never said he had to change his name."

"Soon after his" she paused trying to find the right word, "Creation, he chose to go by Jon. He thought it would be better that way for the two of you." Her voice got quiet at the end. Sam shrugged, she really didn't want to tell him the answer, and she hoped he'd let it go.

"Better how?" he asked gruffly.

Guess not, she thought. Sighing she answered, "He's in the Air Force just like Carter. Even with a different name, people already assume he's your -ah son." He turned and looked at her with one of those looks that served him very well as a general. Not wanting to annoy him further, she continued. "Sir, he looks just like you- he is you."

Feeling all the anger and frustration drain out of him, Jack dropped on to the couch resting his head in his hands. "Why did the little bugger do that?" Jack wasn't sure what he was asking about, the Air Force or Sam's clone, maybe both.

"Because I'm you." Jack and Sam turned to see Jon standing in the doorway, "I spent a month in high school and realized how stupid it was. So I took my SATs and went to college. In two years, I finished my first degree and in another year and a half I had my master's done.

Not sure he wanted to know but he asked anyway, "In what?" He was slightly amused by his scholarly self.

"Astronomy and the Master's is in Electrical Engineering. Carter is almost finished with her second masters. Once Air Force saw our test scores we were really attractive to them. They wanted me in black ops but I said no, they knew who I was. I wanted back into the SGC. All I'm waiting for is an opening, unlike Carter who just got offered a spot."

"Aren't we presumptuous?" Jack said sarcasm in full force.

Jon rounded on him, "What else would we do? We're you! How can you ask us to be anything less than who we are? "

"He's right." Sam's voice was quiet.

"He is?" Jack demanded, his anger returning. He had hoped never to have to deal with his mini self again but here he was, right in the thick of it.

"Who better to turn the SGC over to but ourselves? Anyway, this argument isn't important right now. We have to find Carter. I'll grab my computer, if she left her phone on we should be able to find her."

* * *

A few minutes later, they had an address from downtown Colorado Springs.

They pulled up a few minutes later outside a nightclub. People were lined up outside around the building. The music's deep bass could be felt where they stood outside. It was going to be a long night; Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Turning to Jon he said, "Give me the picture you have of Carter. I need it to get us inside."

Glaring, Jon reached into his coat, removed a picture and handed it over to Jack. "I want it back."

"Like I want to keep it." Jack sneered.

Watching them, Sam was amazed, she couldn't believe that; (1) two grown men were acting like little children. The only other time she had seen Jack like this was with his robot self, she only hoped it would not end the same way. And (2) that Jack knew that Jon had a photo of Carter. The only reason that could be, was if Jack always had one of her. Studying him, she wondered if Jack still had her picture, and where it was? Could it be over his heart, like Jon's picture was?

She was about to ask when Jack spoke up, "Here's the plan. We're here to find our daughter, who's underage and should not be in there. We should be able to get in without too much problem but, if they give us grief, we can play the general card. I'm sure there are a lot of cadets in there and they don't want to get on the black list."

The two others nodded and followed Jack up to the head of the line. Approaching the bouncer, Jack said, "Have you let this girl inside tonight." The larger man studied the photo and shrugged. "Well she's only eighteen, and you can get into a lot of trouble. Let us in."

The man shook his head. "We don't let people jump the line. If you want to get in you have to wait, like everyone else."

Jack grabbed the man and spoke calmly, "Then I would like to speak to the manager, please. You see, I'm an Air Force General and I have a few things to say to him."

The man visibly flinched, "Ah, I didn't realize, Sir. Yes, you may go inside. I promise this won't happen again." The man stepped to the side and allowed them to pass.

Inside it was even worse, the music was so loud it hurt. Jack wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, so they split up. They agreed to meet at the bar in fifteen minutes if they didn't find her.

Pushing his way through the crowd, Jack found her a few minutes later. She was plastered against some guy and downing shots as quick as the bartender was pouring them.

A few more maneuvers, Jack stood in front of her. "Carter, what are you doing?" Reaching out, he grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the guy. She swayed a little when he stood her on her feet.

"Nothing Jack, nothing at all. Just being me, not Sam. I'm not her, she's not me, you're not Jon and Jon's not you-so what are we? I don't know anymore. I'm beginning to wonder if I ever did." She sounded drunk, very drunk.

"This is not you and this is not Sam. You are who you want to be Carter, choose right now." He shook her a little, hoping to sober her up, or knock some sense into her. "The bottom of a bottle is not the place to find yourself, or anything for that matter."

The thug she was sitting with stood and tried to stare down Jack. "Hey Gramps, she's with me. I got her in here and she owes me. Why don't you let her go and the two of us can get back to our fun."

Not letting go of Carter, Jack turned and looked at the boy. "Back off, or so help me I will snap you in half, and then her boyfriend will crush whatever's left of you."

Being a coward at heart, the younger man sat back down, and allowed them to leave without any more arguments. Jack pulled her through the crowd to the back door.

Once outside, he pulled out his cell phone and called Sam, "I have her, we're heading to the truck. I'm gonna try and talk to her. Find Jon and meet us there."

"Right, see you in a few minutes." Sam ended the call.

* * *

That's all for now, when I get the next part it's all yours.~ Kelleth~


	3. Who I am

**Author's Note: ** Here it is just like a promised and I also have the last chapter in my hot little hand and I will post it on Sunday. Thank you to AriaJack for helping with this story.

I know it is short but the end is in sight. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Jack and Carter walked to the truck, and Jack propped her against it while he opened the door.

Turning, she looked at Jack. "How can Jon not be angry? We're not us. I'm her and he's you." She motioned at the air with her hands. "She loves you, so I love him. Nothing about me, is me." Carter's voice was bitter and sad at the same time.

Grabbing her shoulders, he spun her around to face him. "If you love Jon then stop acting like an idiot. Do you want to drive him away? Love is love, you don't question it. Just go with it, or you lose it." Carter could hear the pain in his voice.

Her voice was bitter as she spit out the words, "Then why didn't you do that? Why aren't you and Sam happily married with 2.1 kids and a dog, since every kid needs a dog."

Jack turned from her gaze, and her question. He didn't have an answer, he still loved Sam, but she'd left him and he hadn't tried to stop her.

Carter watched the emotions travel across his profile. He still loved Sam, the other her, did that mean he loved her? Suddenly she needed to know, to understand just who she was and who they all were.

While he was busy with his keys she turned to him, suddenly completely sober. Walking her fingers up his arm she asked, "So, Jack, do you ever think about that day in the locker room when she kissed you, when I kissed you? I can remember what it was like. I'm her, are we really that different?"

She grabbed his head and tried to kiss him much like Sam had done in the locker room, all those years ago. To him it seemed like an eternity ago. So much had happened between him and Sam. That incident was lost in a dream.

For Carter, this was the only way she could know if she just loved Jon because he was Jack or because he was Jon. This was the turning point, she stood on the edge of the precipice, and jumped, only to crash to the earth as her world shifted, and pieces seemed to fit into place.

Her lips touched his, and she stopped. Kissing Jack was like kissing her brother, or her boyfriend's brother. It was just wrong. Pulling back, she looked at a stunned Jack, who was trying to push her way, and she knew. "You two really aren't the same. I always thought that you would be." Dropping her arms from around his neck where she had curled them, she ran, leaving Jack stunned at the last two minutes. Jack quite literally fell on his butt in surprise, both at the sudden kiss and the sudden conclusion of it.

* * *

Sam and Jon had entered the parking lot just in time to see the whole strange turn of events. Jon chased after Carter but she managed to elude him. He stopped a few feet into a park, picked up something, and made his way back to Sam and Jack.

Sam offered her hand to Jack, "You all right?"

Getting to his feet he said, "Nothing wounded but my pride. What the hell was she doing?"

Sam shrugged, "A test. She had to know if you and Jon were really different and how she felt about the two of you. Jon did it to me once as well. He had a similar reaction."

Jon arrived back and handed Carter's phone to Sam. "She dropped it purposely. She doesn't want us to find her. She's trying to hide. The only place I think she would go is the mountain. We used to sneak up there. We'd sit in one of the empty rooms, wondering if we were ever going to get back in there and do our jobs." Looking up at Sam he said, "She knew from the beginning who she was. It just made her mad whenever I tried to talk to her about it. She kept it all bottled up, everything Carter did she compared it to you. She has to see that she's herself, not you. We can't move forward until she realizes that. Whatever you and Thor tried to do, it didn't work. She's doing this because I asked her to marry me. I don't want to lose her and make the same mistakes you two did. I want the life you guys denied yourselves."

Sam nodded, ashamed at what she had given up. She could feel Jack's eyes on her, but now was not the time for them. Carter was the more important issue. "The back way, like I did during the foothold. We better get going, she has a head start."

The three of them turned back to Jack's truck and Jon tried to take the keys. "Let me drive, old man."

Moving his hand away, Jack insisted, "Hey none of that. I can still pummel you. So back off. You sit in the back like all the kids. Sam you've got shotgun."

Sulking, Jon climbed into the back without a word, but, when Sam looked at him in the rear view mirror, she saw a small smile.

* * *

Carter ran, her feet pounding against the pavement in rhythm with her heart. Just who was she? In her mind she had always been Sam's clone, a shadow of the real thing. To her they were interchangeable, Sam and Carter, Jon and Jack. They were the same people genetically, why shouldn't she feel the same way about Jack as Jon. Jack had been the one she loved secretly for all those years, but Jon was the one she had been able to love.

Then suddenly it was all clear, she didn't love Jack O'Neill, not in the same way she had all that time ago when she was Sam. They were different people now, she was different. She really was Carter Anderson. Her life was her own. Jon wasn't Jack any longer, he was himself, a man who had made his own choices, and he loved her, not Sam. The four of them had their own lives and choices to make.

Stopping, Carter looked around. She was back at Sam's car. Climbing in she drove to the only place she could think of. Whatever she had expected from this little plan, it hadn't been this. Driving into the dark night, she knew that everything would be all right. She just had a choice to make.

* * *

Let me know if you liked it or hated it.


	4. Choices Define us

**Author's note**: Here we are at the end of this little ride. I would like to thank everyone who stuck with this fic and read it to the end. I'm sorry that I took so long between posts. I hope to do better with my next one which I will post soon.

Thank you to SirenBunny, KEF, and AriaJack for helping out with this fic.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, they found themselves walking the halls of SGC. A quick call to Landry was all they needed to get Jon the necessary clearance.

Together, the three of them rode down the elevator. Jack and Jon were both feeling nostalgic. Jack was amazed that after two years away, he felt more at home here than anywhere else. One glance at Jon told him that he felt the same way.

Jon was the first to comment how much he missed the gate and Jack had to agree. Jack studied the younger him. Jon had his whole life ahead of him, when his was almost over. He had messed things up with Sam, big time, and lost that chance for happiness. There was no one to blame for that but himself.

Looking at Sam, he thought that it was time for a change. Neither of them were getting any younger, and time was running out. Both of them were still single, he loved her, and he thought she might still love him. Why not take a chance and try and fix what went wrong the first time

The small procession stopped at the door to an empty room, that Jon had lead them to. Using Sam's card, they unlocked the door and stepped into the room. They found Carter sitting on a bench with her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, staring at the floor. She looked different, there was something in her eyes as she looked up at them framed in the doorway.

No one moved for a moment, finally Carter spoke, looking back down at the floor. "Why did you bring them here, Jon? This is our place, not their's. Who do you see when you look at me? Is it me, or do you see her?"

Jon never hesitated. "You, Carter. It's always been you. I love you, not Sam. I'm not saying that in the beginning, I didn't love her, but then I realized that it could never be. Now there was too much separating us, more than when we were on SG-1 together. If I wanted to be with her, she needed to be like me. It was then that I contacted Thor. With his help Sam was able to create you."

Sam looked at Jon, who nodded his consent, "Carter, you are you. You have made choices that I didn't. You started out as me, but the minute you were created, you became Carter. Our lives have parted ways."

Looking at Jack, she sighed, "Most of all you have the advantage of learning from my mistakes." She looked at Jack, "I loved him for a long time and what did I do about it? Nothing, but you have a chance to love Jon. I'm sure you've been attracted to others, but who do you always come back to? Who are your feelings strongest for? Ask yourself, and be honest, because if you are, you have a chance to be happier than I ever was. That alone will make us different." Sam looked at Jack again and then away quickly, not wanting him to see how much she wanted what Carter and Jon had. To have a chance to be happy, but she was still scared, what if she truly was the black widow?

Carter studied all of them for a moment and then nodded. Using her arms, she jumped down from the bench and faced her double. "You mean loving Jonathan O'Neill instead of locking it all away in that room and pretending that I don't feel anything. Watching him almost die and doing nothing, not letting anyone see the pain. Letting the world dictate our lives because you were scared, so scared. Only to realize too late that no matter how many times you save the world, if you have no one to share it with, all you have is ashes where your dreams used to be and no one to keep you warm at night. What do you want Sam, more importantly who do you want? Time's slipping away from you." The younger woman pushed past Sam and offered her hand to Jon.

"Yes, I'll marry you. You're right. We're not them. We have our whole lives ahead of us. Let's not waste it like they have." She stood before him with nothing hidden, all of her emotions open for him to see.

Jon cupped her cheek, brushing a gentle kiss across her lips. "Good" was all he said before taking her hand and leading her to the door. Opening it for Carter, he followed her through; when he paused, "Jack, Sam-stop wasting time. You love her, she loves you. Work it out." The door closed behind the younger man with a finality.

Not looking at Sam, Jack crossed to the door and tried to open it. The door refused to budge, it was locked. Waving his arm he said, "Carter, pass me your card. I want outta here." Still refusing to look at her, he held out his hand.

The card was placed in his upturned palm but her finger lingered. He closed his eyes tightly to fight the sensations created by her touch. "Sam, where did we go wrong? Where did I go wrong? Why did we hurt one another so much?" His voice was so quiet she almost didn't hear him.

Not knowing she had moved until she touched his shoulder, he opened his eyes to meet her gaze while continuing to speak. "Were we that scared it wouldn't work, that it didn't? Did we spend so much time trying to protect ourselves from the possibility of pain, that we caused it? Sam, what did I do? Tell me. I want to fix it, to make it right between us."

"No, Jack, it was me." she turned away from him. "I had this horrible fear that if I stayed, you would die. I thought it would be better to leave before..."

He grabbed her shoulder, "Before what? We served together for eight years, I almost died dozens of times but you never ran? Why then, what changed?"

She wouldn't meet his eyes. "It was Orlin, when he came back as a child to warn us about the Ori. I had to watch him slowly destroy himself for me. Watching him destroy his mind trying to hold on to those memories that would save us. I'm toxic to anyone who loves me. I have to hurt them or they die. Jonas Hansen thought he was a god, was thrown into a worm hole and splattered on the iris,; Narim's planet was destroyed by the Gou'ald,; Orlin died saving me from our own stupidity; and then there was Martouf and Lantesh, I killed them myself. I pushed you away so you wouldn't die like those other Jack's we'd met. I thought that if I stayed with you, it would have happened."

He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say Samantha. Don't you think I should have had a choice in this?"

She tried to pull away, but he held on to her, "I thought it would be better to live without you and know you were alive than to live with you and fear that I would kill you."

Dropping his hands, he ran them through his hair, "We stayed apart for so long, pretending, and imagining what it would be like if we had a chance to be together. Then you walked away because you thought I would die?" He was frustrated. This didn't seem to be getting them anywhere, just around and around in circles.

Looking at Sam, he changed tactics. Reaching up, he brushed her cheek with his lips. "Sam, I want to be with you." Leaning in closer, he brushed his lips against hers. Then he lifted her her chin so he could look into her eyes. "Do you really want to be alone?"

Struggling to remain unmoved by him, she asked, . "Can it be that easy? All we have to do is decide to be happy and we are? Life's just not like that Jack."

He ran his hands up her arms and cupped her cheek, "It is if you want it to be. I love you and I think you love me. We can keep hurting each other or we can be together and be happy. Our mini me's are, why can't we? Carter's right, Sam it's time to decide what you want."

"It isn't that easy. You're in Washington and I'm here." She tried to pull away from him, put some distance between them, and remember all the reasons she left.

He knew what she was doing, what she was trying to do, so he held on. "Those are only excuses, not problems. You deserve to be happy and to have everything you want. Sam, stop fighting and let me love you, always."

He knew the moment she stopped fighting him, and herself and gave into what they had both wanted for so long. She only spoke one word, "Jack." And her body melted into his, bringing her lips to meet his.

* * *

The door opened quietly, Jon and Carter stuck their heads inside, and pulled them back out again. "Told you it would work." Jon said, giving her a nudge as they headed toward the elevator.

"I know, but I had my doubts about them, and us. Jon. I love you, not him, not anymore. I just had to know." She turned toward him, "I'm not sorry for what I did, but I'm sorry if I hurt you. I remembered the trick you taught me, to dump the shots without anyone seeing. I didn't drink anything, I know the risks. I want this more than I thought possible. I want to be with you, not Jack or anyone else. I love you."

"I know, I love you too." He gave her a quick kiss and started walking down the hall toward the elevator, holding out his hand to her, "Let's go, Danny owes me five hundred bucks. He said it wouldn't work."

Looking back at the door she said with a sigh. "I'm glad they stopped being stupid, and are happy. Do you think we should tell them about the baby? After all, they would be its aunt and uncle. We may be a crazy one but we are all family."

Knowing what he would be doing right now, Jon shook his head. "I think they're a little busy right now. We can do it later at Daniel and Vala's tonight. It'll be our surprise."

Stepping into the elevator, Jon thought that there would be more than one surprise at the party tonight, other than theirs.

* * *

That's the end I hope you enjoyed this one. It was a strange one for me to write but there it is.


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